The Future Is EPIC

The year 1982 proved itself to be a milestone year for the history of broadcast media in India. 1982 saw the advent of National telecasts and introduction of colour TV in the Indian market, Indian small screen programming started off in the early 1980s. At that time there was only one national channel Doordarshan, which was government owned.

Around the same time, The Ramayana and Mahabharata (both Indian spiritual & mythological stories) were the first major television series produced. These serials notched up the world record in viewership numbers for a single program. By the late 1980s more and more people started to own television sets. Though there was a single channel, television programming had reached saturation. Hence the government opened up another channel, which had part national programming and part regional.

The central government launched a series of economic and social reforms in 1991 under Prime Minister Narasimha Rao. Under the new policies the government allowed private and foreign broadcasters to engage in limited operations in India. This process has been pursued consistently by all subsequent federal administrations. Foreign channels like CNN, STAR TV and private domestic channels such as Zee TV, ETV and Sun TV started satellite broadcasts. Starting with 41 sets in 1992 and one channel, by 1995, TV in India covered more than 70 million homes giving a viewing population of more than 400 million individuals through more than 100 channels.

In the last ten years a television set (Or an ‘Iditot Box’ as some lament about it) has become an inevitable necessity rather than a luxury in urban Indian households. According to a research conducted in 2013, there are approximately 750 million television viewers in India, being exposed to around 748 Permitted Private satellite television stations, in addition to that more than 30 Government channels are there. (As on 02/12/2013) In keeping with the number of growing television channels and consumers, the look, size, and vanity of television sets as well as the content being broadcasted has tremendously undergone a change.

Today there is cut throat competition in the industry with the audience being served an extremely diverse platter with unlimited viewing options to choose from. However, owing to a constant hammering or monotonous content which revolves around Indian soap operas, highly influenced American teen dramas, slap-stick sitcoms and bombardment of reality shows ranging from activities like singing, dancing, cooking, to performing horrid tasks to win a title and a certain cash prize in the end. The advertising and the Hindi film industry today heavily run television.

With such conditions in the present, the future for Indian television seemed bleak unless there would be a ground-breaking initiative taken that would redefine the television viewing experience and content for the Indian audience. One such initiative has been taken by EPIC Television Networks Pvt. Ltd.

EPIC Channel is India’s first genre specific Hindi entertainment channel. It has pushed the envelope for the Indian media landscape with interesting content based on Indian history, folklore and mythology, in a uniquely contemporary format. It is the first segmented channel in Indian television history. The channel has action, drama, comedy, supernatural and narrative non-fiction content, set against Indian historic and mythological eras. The stories are innovative with high production quality and a distinct look & feel appealing to a wide segment of the audience.

Also the channel is up in the game and proven worthy with its technical prowess too. The EPIC Channel is the only channel to have shot at real locations with HD cameras. The programming strategy contains a mix of fiction as well as non-fiction shows, short form content as well as films. Certain fictional shows include Dharamkshetra, Siyaasat and Daanav Hunters to name a few.

While Dharamkshetra is a never seen before courtroom drama, unearths these buried questions and allows the legendary characters of Mahabharata to justify their actions, Siyaasat is a story of grand passion, court room politics, and royal drama based on Indu Sundaresan’s novel, ‘The Twentieth Wife’ and Daanav Hunters chronicles the adventures of Professor Bhagawat and his team who’ve made it their mission to keep and restore peace whenever these Daanavs surface. 

Apart from these path-breaking fictional shows the channel broadcasts a wide range of non-fictional content including shows like Adrishya, Ekaant and Raja Rasoi. Adrishya is an espionage show making the audience experience life from the point of view of India’s greatest spies, living through the danger, the fear, the triumphs and the captures, Ekaant takes you through abandoned roads, alleys of some of India’s historic locations and Raja Rasoi is a unique culinary show that takes us through the colourful history of food prepared in the royal kitchens, creating some of the best and the most flavorful food in the country.

On the basis of the above content, ideology and operating methods of the channel; One can hold the Epic channel in high regard comparing it with the American based ‘The History Channel’, which broadcasts documentary programs and historical fiction series.

The Epic channel is the breaking dawn of a new era for Indian television and a ray of hope for the almost dying out television Industry in India. It is rather iconic and quirky that a television channel on HISTORY will redefine the FUTURE for Indian television viewing.

Happy New Year – Nothing Really ‘Happy’ About It.

Hello Mr. Khan,

Firstly, Wish you many happy returns of the day. I wish I were writing to you, only to give you warm birthday wishes. However, I am writing to you expressing my views regarding your latest release Happy New Year. Yes, I know this is surprising coming from me, but I did not see your film on the first day (I believe this has happened after 5 years) and I wasn’t one of the contributors to the 156 or so Crores your film has churned out in the first week of it’s release. It’s a harsh fact Mr. Khan, but I think you’ll have to get used to this conduct of mine soon.

Well, let me start by being absolutely straightforward, I did not like the film. Yes, I agree it was superior and logically far more relevant as compared to a lot of the other so-called ‘entertainers’ and other public holiday releases throughout the year, but does that make your film a ‘good film’? No! Certainly not Mr. Khan. I believe I have the right  to articulate to you on your film, as you are not only the male protagonist of the film but also the producer, by the virtue of which you have complete right and command over the content of your film.

Let me save the criticism for later, because there’s quite a bit. I’ll quickly tell you what I liked about the film, because there isn’t enough of it. I liked the production value, the half decent background music, technical prowess here and there, your physique (Which I take your word for, and believe that it is naturally built, as opposed to your rivals who make use of technology to get their perfectly sculpted body) I was scared that your look in the first half would regress me back to a star-struck fan boy, however the maturity of the look and those of the actions suffered certain compatibility issues and thus did not strike the right chord for me. And your director Farah Khan’s trademark end credits where all the technicians and crew working on the film, get their few moments of glory by appearing on the BIG SCREEN. That was it!! Let me do it your style, just for fun sake.

“Achchai toh ho gayi mere dost, bahot saari burai baaki hai”.

That reminds me Mr. Khan, I wish to know the reason behind you relying on the content of your previous work time and again to elicit a warm audience response. Is it the insecurity of fresh content that makes you want to revisit your previous dialogues and repeated punch lines to garner a positive approval from your viewer? You have done this previously and have done it yet again. I don’t even wish to go near your product placements in the film; it just amused me to see that each and every character owns the same model of the mobile phone of the same company (In different colors, thankfully). In economic terms, Nokia attains a perfect monopoly in your film.

I have certain complaints against your film and it’s director Farah Khan,

1. She is Sajid Khan’s sister

2. She is Shirish Kunder’s wife

Well, the above of two have nothing to do with the film but they are of grave national importance and need to feature in this list.

3. The direction fails at multiple levels. Every character seems to have TWO characteristics, the occurrence or display of which is highly a matter of convenience to compliment the story at that moment. Also I am curious to know how the costumes in each song change with each changing frame. Hadn’t seen this phenomenon in a film for a very long time, brings back the memories I had of the films, when I was a kid.

4. There are jokes and dialogues constantly repeated throughout the film.

5. The level of spoon-feeding throughout the film is appalling. I believe the film could have been simply cut down to half it’s running time, had you not wasted time explaining what’s going to happen next and then show it happening.

6. This may not be a directorial flaw, but is a trait recently associated with most of your films Mr. Khan. Where stereotypically a community, or a nationality is humiliated under the pretext of comic relief. It was the South Indians in One, similarly with Chennai Express and now the Parsis, Homosexuals and South-East Asians with Happy New Year.

7. Another similar flaw coming from you Mr. Khan was terribly shocking. You, Mr. Khan, Someone who strongly adheres to morals and vouches for women’s respect and safety, have a scene in your film where you verbally degrade a women and then under the pretense of apologizing to her in a language unknown to her, degrade her further more with your lust-oriented choice of words. That was thoroughly disappointing. 

8. And your film crosses the limits, where I believe in one scene Mr. Jakie Shroff says that India is habitual for sending losers all across the world, be it the Olympics or the Oscars. Be it in whatever context Mr. Khan, Lets be frank about Indians having proved their mettle at the Olympics and the films being chosen for the Oscars (The likes of Lagaan, Harishchandrachi Factory and The Good Road to name a few) may have lost to other better films, but are certainly not losers in their own right. Infact, I believe your film Paheli failed to get selected for the Oscars. I hope this is not a case of sour grapes Mr. Khan.

9. The music for the film is absolute trash, with not a single song standing out and every song having traces of previously heard tracks from other films. It’s not like Vishal and Shekhar to compose lower rank music for a film, but I guess we all know what Vishal was upto, and hence the product had to suffer.

The film also features certain friendly and ‘emotional’ appearances. Some of which are terribly shocking and shameful. The film also marks the debut of your son Ab.RAM (To be mouthed like Ra.ONE, I guess) and Farah Khan’s triplets (Let’s call them Om, Shanti, Om for now). So, I believe there’s going to be tough competition for the ‘Best Debut Award’ this year. But I am sure Mr. Second richest father/actor in the world can get his son the award, while he picks up a handful for himself. But I am glad Mr. Khan that the film has earned enough, for you and Farah Khan to now be able to hire a new nanny for the kids, so that they can stay home and you don’t have to drag them in your professional space. And please while you’re at it, Could you ask Mr. Amitabh Bachchan to get a nanny for his son too, so that he too need not leave the house. (Though most of the laughs generated from the film came from Abhishek Bachchan, so I give him that.)

I know what you are thinking Mr. Khan. Is it really ME, who’s writing this letter to you? Yes, I assure you Mr. Khan that it is indeed ME. A once upon a time die-hard fan, which would fathom anything you did on screen and admired you from the bottom of my heart. However, I realized that I moved on Mr. Khan and you failed to. The situation takes me your famous song from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. The lyrics of which go like Main thehra raha zameen chalne lagi. You have refused to move on where you were 10 years ago, Mr. Khan. It immensely hurts me as your die-hard fan that a man of your stature, intelligence, knowledge and a broad vision the world fails to apply all that you have to your work and offer the audience something more organic and from your heart. Try and give the audience a chance, rather than time and again challenging their IQ levels by offering them lower intelligence material. Stop making immature films on the pretext of entertainment.

I think I have spoilt your birthday enough Mr. Khan. I apologize for that, but I leave you on a high note and an advice. I will never give up on you as your true fan, even though you are hell bent of letting me down time and again for the last few years. You complete 50 years today, so I borrow a dialogue from your film and say Kismat Badi Kutti Cheez Hoti, Kabhi Bhi Palat Sakti Hai. Tread very carefully Mr. Khan, and I hope you make a few correct choices and take the right decisions in the future. Wish you a happy birthday and a happier forthcoming year. Good luck Mr. Khan.

 

Your true and caring fan forever,

I don’t wish to disclose my name or else there’s no scope of us working together.

MARDAANI – A Must Watch.

Approximately after three weeks of it’s release, zillions of missed chances, and innumerable instances of utter laziness, I finally got myself to wake up on a Sunday morning, and travel to an unusual multiplex – the life span of which I don’t see lasting beyond the next 4-5 years; In order to catch the decently slotted and priced show for Mardaani. I genuinely thank my stars, turning a blind eye to the extra twenty minutes of travel, the almost deserted, dysfunctional multiplex, the broken seat in the auditorium and the stinking seat cushions, that I did not miss this cinematic wonder on the big screen. Had I lazed around today as well and categorized the film in my ‘Download-and-watch’ section, I would have been thoroughly disappointed with myself and my inability to make the right choice of watching the film in the theatre.

 Mardaani is a highly unusual film to come out of the corridors of the highly suave and poised Yashraj Films studios. It’s endearing to see YRF being a part of the highly progressing and developing wave of Indian Cinema (Not to be confused with or intellectualized by ‘The Indian New Wave Cinema’). Mardaani showcases the story of a feisty, and courageous Mumbai Police officer, Inspector Shivani Shivaji Roy (Rani Mukerjee) and her team of honest public servants as they crack the deadly syndicate of drug smugglers and child-trafficking pimps in the capital of India.

 Rani Mukerjee’s portrayal of the honest and strong crime branch police inspector could be considered as one of the most convincing portrayals of a cop (Male or female) to be seen in Indian cinema, after a very long time. Everytime I see a Rani Mukerjee film, my respect and pride for her goes up manifold and my belief of her being one of the finest actors in mainstream cinema today, gets reinforced time and again. Be it romance, comedy, drama, and now action, Rani Mukerjee has proved her mettle repeatedly and has always raised the bar for herself as well as the others. Post her recent wedlock with producer Aditya Chopra and securing herself to be the heiress of the greatest empire in the Indian film industry, there are theories of Mardaani being Rani Mukerjee’s last stint with acting. Well if that is true (I and many others would hope for it to be untrue), it will be a tremendous loss of high caliber talent for Indian cinema, but Rani Mukerjee would become an envy (or hopefully an inspiration) for all the actors; That there will always come a time to bid adieu to your work, and when that time comes, signoff with a bang, like Rani Mukerjee has with Mardaani, and how!!

After gifting the industry extremely talented actors with high potential like Ranveer Singh and Arjun Kapoor, the casting director for Yashraj Films, Shanoo Sharma has nailed it yet again by introducing the young and extremely talented Tahir Raj Bhasin as the villainous mastermind and Shivani Shivaji Roy’s arch nemesis. Having mentioned this earlier as well, I am a film viewer who tends to love his antagonist more than the protagonist and gives high importance to the negative element in any film as I believe that the reason for the conflict and tension needs to be extremely important and only a well characterized villain can bring out the heroism of a hero. With Mardaani my hunger to watch a 100% convincing antagonist in films for the last few years has been sufficed. As opposed to the loud, boisterous and antics oriented ‘bad-guys’ we have been bombarded with for quite some time now, Tahir Raj Bhasin is a classy, composed and evil mastermind. A wonderful actor who has maintained a perfect balance with his performance of neither over doing it nor underplaying it, Tahir Raj Bhasin is a strong contender for the Best Debut this year and has immense potential that needs to be channelized smartly and carefully. In Zoya Akhtar’s directorial debut Luck By Chance A veteran Shah Rukh Khan advices a young debutant Vikarm (Played By Farhan Akhtar) that “Yeh sochlo ke tumhari pehli film ne tumhe chuna, iss ke aage jo kaam tum karoge, it will be You. It’s important to make the right choice of work that you do.” If Tahir Raj Bhasin follows the above advice, He is definitely here to stay and make his mark on this industry with his work.

 The cinematic sadist in me is feeling a little low while penning my thought about Mardaani as I have hardly any or rather no critiquing points to make. The film is decently shot and well cut in keeping with the required pace and tone of the film. The story and screenplay of the film deals brilliantly with the sensitivity of it’s subject without gory visual depictions or over the top dramatic outburst or portrayals. All actors have performed well and justified their characters perfectly. The background score of the film is haunting and acts as a perfect asset in unison to the visuals playing on the screen. The Mardaani Anthem is the only song in the entire film and strongly evokes the necessary emotions in the audience watching the film, at an absolutely perfect time. After a really long time I have enjoyed the action in an Indian film, with a highly convincing and realistic approach to the fight sequences that are free of unnatural sound effects and scientifically defying movements.

 Director Pradeep Sarkar has yet again lived up to his forte of making women oriented films (The likes of Parineeta, Laaga Chunri Main Daag and Lafange Parinde (To which I turned a ‘blind eye’, Pun Intended)) with absolute precision and being able to come up with such wonderful emotionally and sentimentally provoking cinema. Looking forward to many more films in the same caliber coming from this highly talented film-maker.

 My only disappointment with Mardaani would be the A certificate. Yes, in keeping with the language of the film, expecting anything but an A from the censor board would be like expecting the second coming of Jesus, which would be nothing less than a miracle. But Mardaani is a film every teenager, adult and basically human (Male or female) should see because it throws limelight on a society we are a part of and yet so disconnected from it. The film is not a revelation or speaks about something unheard of, yet it makes you feel ashamed of the happenings in our surroundings and urges each one of us to rise and let the Mardaani in each one of us awaken to fight against injustice and malpractices anywhere around us. Maybe only 0.5% or 1% might take up this urge in earnest, but the message and purpose of the film will stay with each and everyone in the audience and has make us all more aware and conscious towards the cleansing of our society, in whatever capacity we can.

 Are you convinced that you HAVE TO see Mardaani, or need I say more?

Kick. Have You Got Yours Yet?

Disclaimer: The following written content does not intend to indulge in blasphemy, hurt the sentiments or challenge the beliefs of any individual or any unified faction of the society. Incase of failing to do so, my sincere apologies to one and all (Except, Salman Khan Fans).

For centuries galore, believers in Christianity and other religions have imparted knowledge to their children through the folklore about the existence of a certain legendary ‘fictional’ character christened Santa Claus. It is believed that Saint Nicholas A.K.A Santa Claus appears on Christmas Eve (24^th December) every year and brings gifts to the Children. He is commonly portrayed riding a sleigh carried by Reindeers and often seen saying ‘Ho Ho Ho’. I am sure that, centuries later Indian grandparents and parents will narrate to their kids, the story of how every year, the auspicious time of Eid (The festival celebrated by the followers of Islam) would be graced by the presence of a not-so-fictional character called Salman Khan. About how his ‘worshipers’ would mark their calendars way in advance and would have sleepless nights waiting for his arrival. His arrival would lead to the outcry of whistles, hoots and shouts of Bhai Bhai. He would often be seen driving around in a speeding, out of control SUV and would run over some bricks and mortar and sometimes even flesh and blood (But lets leave that aside for now). 

25^th July 2014, Friday. For many, this meant nothing more than just a day and date; but for the community of the #Bhaiturds (Yes, social media language has been a useful aide to put things into the right perspective) the importance of this date was at par with the invention of the wheel, fire, electricity, telephone and so on and so forth. The reason being that this year’s most awaited and most talked about film ‘Kick’, crashed into the theatres (Not crashed, as in the way Salman crashed into… Never mind!!)

Let me start by being out and out straightforward. ‘Kick’ was the WORST film I have seen this year and perhaps the worst Salman Khan film I have ever seen (Out of the exact 7 films of his that I have seen). I know a majority of the audience and film critics of whom I hold in high regard, have argued and used a perfect defense mechanism to state that “Well, You know, it’s A Salman Khan film, it doesn’t need a review”. Well, sorry to shatter your castle of glass but IT DOES. Every time I see a Salman Khan film I cant help but draw a close comparison between a zookeeper and an animal inside the cage. Where, as soon as the bonded creature spots its assigned zookeeper approaching, it starts displaying excitement and starts building hopes for a desired treat, very well aware that it actually has no choice. Whatever is flung at the animal is consumed out of compulsion to kill one’s hunger but something seems amiss and that is ‘Satisfaction’. 

Hailing from a school-of-thought of filmmaking, where I like to question every turn of events and love to dig out the hidden logic behind every motif, I was ‘Kick’ed very hard on my backside. Ace producer-turned-director Sajid Nadiadwala chose to remake the 2009 South-Indian film ‘Kick’ as his debut venture (Yeah, Like that’s New!!). With an ensemble of screenplay writers including veterans like Rajat Arora (of ‘Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai’ fame), Chetan Bhagat (of ‘Introduced Indians to reading beyond Tinkle comics’ fame) and the director Sajid Nadiadwala himself, one would expect some genuinely good story telling with no space left for challenging or questioning the happenings on screen. Throughout the film, I was thoroughly agitated at the script and screenplay, every second calling me an Idiot and blatantly laughing at my thinking abilities. The worst part is that the filmmakers have thoroughly disrespected the audience for whatever it may be. The film fails to answer infinite questions and seems logically challenged.

Salman khan (Devi Lal Singh or Devil) is himself as in all his films and just cannot stop mouthing the word ‘Kick’, like a school child’s elocution competition where the child keeps repeating the topic of his speech time and again to remind everyone what he/she is talking about. The film stars Jacqueline Fernandez as Dr. Shayna who plays Devi Lal Singh’s love interest and Shrink as well. Jacqueline Fernandez serves as a perfect eye candy and anything beyond that seems like a herculean task to her. Psychiatrist Dr. Shayna treats Devi Lal Singh who suffers from a certain kind of Amnesia. I just wish I found myself a similar doctor, who apart from the good looks would allow me to consume gallons of alcohol when I am slightly twisted in the head, and would get high and dance with me in an underground subway. (Oh My god… It’s SO larger than life!! Isn’t this what Salman Khan films stand for??!!) The film stars Randeep Hooda as top-cop Himanshu Tyagi and along from his masculine good looks, does pretty decent justice to his role.

The film seems like a misfit jigsaw puzzle where the most clichéd pieces from Hindi cinema are put together to put up a picture. With direct references to scenes from the Dhoom trilogy and a slight hint of Jab Tak Hai Jaan (Incidentally, the prior films star Abhishek Bachchan and the latter stars Shah Rukh Khan, Just saying) ‘Kick’ by the end of it seems like nothing but a three hour PSA (Public service announcement) for ‘Being Human’. Just that Salman Khan contributes to charity without wearing or selling tacky and gaudy tee-shirts, and does his GOOD DEEDS for the SOCIETY by carrying out ‘Hollywood style’ heists and stealing money from the corrupt to distribute it to the needy and ailing children in an NGO, just like the tales of Robin Hood. (But Salman hasn’t done a Robin Hood before this, has he??!!)

The music for the film is composed by Himesh Reshammiya, and as A guest composer for a song we have Yo Yo Honey Singh. Let’s move on. 

The only saving grace for the film is the scale, cinematography, the action sequences and a few handpicked punch lines by Rajat Arora. With marvelous locations in Poland and two very well orchestrated chase sequences (One in Poland and one in Delhi) ‘Kick’ manages to simply look good. And last but not the least, ‘Kick’ also stars one of the finest actors in our industry today Mr. Nawazuddin Siddiqui, who manages to charm you with his devious demeanor for the 10 exact minutes of screen time he managed to secure in the film. Though it’s not difficult to understand why does the best element in the film appear and disappear in a jiffy, with exactly 2 minutes of sharing screen space with Salman Khan. Even Bhai cannot handle the complex of performing with an actor who performs well than him manifold.

‘Kick’ fails to deliver what it promised in the visual promotions and the negative hangover of which is still lingering around like the smell of stale Onion. The film ends with a dialogue that I am going to liberty and tamper around with to sum up all that I have written above:

“Dimaag mein jaata hoon, dil mein nahi”

Amit Sahni Ki List… Does It Feature On Yours?

Before I start, I would like to congratulate all those who have had a divine revelation about the existence of a certain film called ‘Amit Sahni Ki List’. Yes, there is actually a film by this name and it did hit the theatres yesterday (i.e. Friday – 18.07.14). However, if Bollywoodhungama.com and the article ‘List of Bollywood films of 2014’ on Wikipedia are not frequently found in your browser history, you wont be blamed for this ignorance. Produced By ‘Pyxis Pictures’ and directed by ‘Ajay Bhuyan’, Amit Sahni Ki List implemented the low-key strategy of marketing and featured on minimalistic slots in the print and broadcast media. To top it all, the buzz for the film on the Internet was also almost negligible, As opposed to the boisterous and in-your-face marketing strategies being implemented by studios and feature film production houses for quite sometime. What made the makers and marketing officials of the film take this decision is unknown to me.

The film revolves around the life of an investment banker, bachelor Mr.Amit Sahni (Virr Das) and his ‘LIST’. Now what is this ‘Amit Sahni Ki List’? The list includes all the factors that Amit Sahni is looking for in his soul mate. The film is a documentation of his journey in the quest to find THE perfect girl, and if failing to fulfill one criterion on the list the poor and sometimes not-so-poor babe is rejected. (Gives me the feeling of a Government office, Where if I take my Passport or Pan Card and fail to showcase my electricity bill, am sent back home, after the man/woman across the counter will make me feel so dejected and low about myself.) Thank goodness this concept did not dawn upon Mr. Steven Spielberg (The one Hollywood film maker everyone knows, for whatever reasons best known to themselves) or else we would have the next Harrison Ford starrer ‘Indiana Jones and the quest for the perfect girl’ with the list written on parchment paper and to be found under one of the pyramids of Giza.

In keeping with the spirit of the film, I decided to go unconventional this time. With almost 18 years of cinema viewing experience at hand, I have been able to come up with a list of all the elements that I expect to find in a film that I watch. 

So here it is, Meri Waali List:

1. Great production design
2. Huge production value
3. Artist’s performances
4. Good music and perfect usage of the same to enhance the film
5. Technically sound
6. No room for questioning and challenging the turn of events
7. Good dialogues with effective punch lines
8. True to it’s genre

And Last, not the least and infact the most important of them all 

9. The script, story and screenplay

Well, Lets start off with the elements from the film that lived up to my expectations and that I could tick off my list. 

Hands down, the film looks marvelous. With production design and production value topping my list, this film was a visual treat for me. The sets, costumes, locations and everything else one could you ask for has made it’s mark like any other bigwig in the league. The film is very well shot and is almost perfectly put together at the editing table. Apart from a few dubbing mishaps, here and there (Which can very well be forgiven) Amit Sahni Ki List almost technically flawless. 

The film showcases some great performances by the artists like the Vega Tamotia as Mala and the Indian-British actor, Kavi Shastri (NO… Not the cricketer, that’s Ravi Shastri) as Amit Sahni’s bum chum. Even Natasha Rastogi as his wannabe cool mother puts you in the right perspective. Now, What about Mr.Virr Das?

I have heard about a particular practice in the rural parts of India, where the concept of written letters still thrives and where illiteracy is still a major problem at hand, postmen carry letters to the receiver and read to them the message or piece of communication from the sender. The postmen read out all sorts of information to the receiver with emotions as though they are the sender’s voice. God graced himself upon the receivers and perhaps even Mr.Das, who perhaps would have read out the auspicious news of a beautiful child’s birth and the sad news of an ailing person’s demise with the same expression and in the same tone. Amit Sahni himself fails in the film, with one monotonous tone of dialogue delivery and expressionless poker face by the end of the 2:30 hours, Virr Das simply gets to you. He fails to communicate the filmmakers’ intentions behind the story, to the audience effectively.

The music of the film is, well… this is embarrassing, but I don’t remember a single track except one called ‘What the fark’, which is effectively made to sound like the F-word (But that’s also only why I remember this track).

If you are expecting a 2:30 hour laughter riot where you expect yourself to be in splits and TIYSL (Twisting in your seat laughing) you’re going to be highly disappointed. With the humor making its impact only in bits and pieces, the film finds its heart in Kavi Shastri (The friend) and Natasha Rastogi (The mother) who enable you to spread those lips from a semi-should I smile/should I not dilemma to an actually laugh.

 However, One should really watch the film for its maker’s attempt at storytelling, which somewhere down the line we have forgotten is one of the salient features of filming. A simple and sweet concept weaved into a smart yet simplistic story and presented to the audience. Although, the script is extremely monotonous, clichéd with it’s concepts and leaves a void unfulfilled after the film, it’s a genuine attempt from the heart, by the director and producers, and that is commendable.

If you are interested in being treated to some old school ‘storytelling’, Amit Sahni Ki List is YOUR thing and will be worth your time. However, if you are hungry for something big, more happening and a fast paced audio-visual experience that gives you a kick, I think we all know what you are eagerly waiting for.

Ek Villain – Teen Ghante Barbaad

Just imagine, you visit a clothing line store who’s designer has been the talk of the town since the last garments he designed sold like hot cakes and he made a whopping amount of Rs. 100 crore from the same. This season, he designed a shirt that everyone was looking forward to wearing the minute the shutters went up and the stores were open for the customers. He used a sexy hunk like fabric, fit in a beautiful set of delicate buttons that entangled it together and used a shade of colour like never seen before. This shirt was marketed with abundant excellence and lured the customers toward it thus raising the expectations manifold. The consumers rushed in and bought the shirt, but as soon as they put it on it started wearing off and ripped itself apart, as the designer forgot the absolute basic yet most important element that would keep the shirt bound together for a pleasurable wearing experience i.e the thread used to weave the shirt into one solid product.

The shirt is nothing different from Mohit Suri’s recent dark (apparently) love story – ‘Ek Villain’ with the thread being a metaphor for the script of the film. Without looking at Ek villain as an inspiration from ‘Kim Jee Woon’s’ 2010 South Korean masterpiece ‘I saw the devil’, lets look at it as an individual entity sans any comparison to the prior. For me ‘Ek Villain’ was an utter disappointment as it flawed endlessly.

It all began with the script being extremely loose and failing to captivate me beyond the first half an hour of the film, As the entire film unfolded itself in the first half and got done with whatever it had but the interval point. The second half was just an excuse to use all the money the filmmakers had. Throughout the film I failed to get a hold of the geographical setting of the film, Dribbling between Goa & Mumbai, it generated nothing but confusion for the audience. The performances in the film were half decent with Siddharth Malhotra trying his level best to perform well, with a constant angry/constipated/god knows what the hell is happening here look on his face (His look was the most consistent element in the film). Shraddha Kapoor sounds like a robot who has been made to remember her lines and recites them in a monotonously irritating tone. Ritesh Deshmukh takes you by surprise as the ‘villain’ who has done a good job if not for the audience, then atleast for himself after his last debacle at the box office (what was that film? ‘Judwaa’ or ‘Ek Hi Chehra’ or whatever, I forgot). Even the music of the film failed for me especially after the entire hoo-haa that followed the music of ‘Ashiqui 2’. I believe the theme music and Background Music works the best (THAT flute piece from ‘Galiyaan’ that gives you goosebumps, yeah that one).

But most of all what went wrong with ‘Ek Villain’ for me was the fact that I left the theatre with a void unfilled. I just felt incomplete and missing a lot. I am a person who loves is antagonist way more than his protagonist (unabashed to say it) and was expecting something similar with ‘Ek villain’, which it failed to deliver. I dare one filmmaker to do absolute justice to it’s antagonist with out falling prey to the ‘good wins over bad’ theory. The film doesn’t justify Ritesh’s behavior full heartedly, I wanted to see a back story there about his psychology and what made him the devil he is today, instead I got a shitty back story for Siddharth’s character which could might as well have been omitted. I was expecting much more darkness in Ritesh and his actions, and a consistency in his devious behavior which for some odd reason rises toward the end of the film, that wants to make you hate a fiend like him. However, you just land up hating the film instead. The action in the film is equally unexciting and you wish to get done with it.

Other elements like an item song by Prachi Desai (That chick from Rock on) with off sync lip movement (technical flaw) and characters like Ritesh’s friend KRK (NO not the IPL team, that dude from Deshdrohi, what? You don’t… forget it) and the ‘cant-speak-hindi-coz-I-am-from-Goa/Bandra/Mahim’ Remo Fernandes are totally unwanted and further spoil the already stale plot.

Ek villain is a film with tremendous scope to have been made into a masterpiece but fails thoroughly. After all this lamenting and bantering it might be a 100 crore at the box office but surely years later one would have to tax their brains trying to remember and say ‘Arrey aayi thi naa who Ritesh Deshmukh ki EK FILM…’.

Once Upon A Time In Mumbai Again/Dobara (Your Choice)

After series of lesser known films or severe failures (Like ‘Hattrick’, ‘Deewar’ and ‘Chori Chori’) Milan Luthria hit the note of a high point in his career in with ‘Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai’ (2010), a period gangster film or rather folklore depicting Mumbai’s growing underbelly based in the 60s and 70s, apparently inspired from real life individuals like Haji Mastan (Aka Sultan Mirza played by Ajay Devgn) and Dawood Ibrahim (Aka Shohaib played by Emraan Hashmi). Inspite of being an imperfect film ‘OUATIM’ was appreciated enough owing to the catchy dialogues and one-liners, the upbeat plot, the well justified performances and the music, some of which still refuse to fade from our memory.

Three years later, Mumbaai has moved 12 years ahead (Reel time), with Shohaib being the most powerful man in the city (Controlling it overseas), after killing his benefactor Sultan Mirza, in a fit of rage and lust for power over whole of Mumbaai. Here’s the best part, 12 years from Sultan’s Killing Shohaib (Emraan Hashmi) becomes Akshay Kumar and Mumtaaz (Prachi Desai), who plays Shohaib’s lady love in the first part become Sonali Bendre. Some age miracle formula I must say!!

Apart from such liberties regarding casting issues, the makers of ‘Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai AGAIN’ (Yes, I like to call it by its name prior to the change because it sounds linguistically correct) have literally exploited the saying ‘Let your imagination run wild’ by exposing us to the unimaginable, like a Tiku Talsania having ‘Something’ (Say a fling, affair, or just ‘cordial’ relations) with… with… wait for it… Vidya Balan!! That’s like the film maker’s assurance policy for all the guys (no age bar) that well, if Tiku Talsania can get Vidya Balan, ANYTHING can happen, so be positive. In keeping with such awesome hyperboles, in a particular scene Shohaib, the most wanted man in India, with only macho juice flowing in his veins, walks into a Mumbai Police thana sees a photo of himself being the most wanted criminal, laments about its quality stating that a new one must be sent to replace the old one and walks out. It not only takes the audience for a ride but also badly reflects on the Police force and their quality of work.

‘OUATIM Again’ fails as a film because of the drastic shift in genre from a period gangster film to a love triangle set in the backdrop of a gangster environment. It’s an out and out love story, with bloodshed, deceit, breaching of trust and so on.

Milan Luthria as a director fails for me completely, with not being able to live up to the standards of his baby and doing no justice to anything from the first part. What really irks me is his inability as a director to trust his own actor to live to his expectations and shoulder the responsibility of a second film. Had Emraan Hashmi still played Shohaib, almost 50% of the film would have been better there and then.

Akshay Kumar as Shohaib is a complete let down, close your eyes and listen to him talk and you can’t tell a difference between Rowdy Rathore / Khiladi 786 and now this one. He is totally unable to convince you as Shohaib. Sonakshi Sinha and Imraan Khan make you indifferent to their performances with having done nothing different from what they have been doing in each and every film. (Except Lootera which worked great for Sonakshi and well… Nothing for Imraan)

After a point of time the entire film felt like a Kavi Sammelan, Having Rajat Arora back on board with the dialogues, no character was able to put forth a simple sentence without a ‘Saying…’ or an analogy or an idiom to convey a particular message. In keeping with his previous work from ‘OUATIM’ and ‘The Dirty Picture’ (Which got him several accolades and the dialogues of which are still remembered time and again when a particular situation arises) Rajat Arora has gone overboard this time. In their individual capacity the one-liners used are bang on!! But if every dialogue is a one-liner then it loses the impact its set out to create. Even the usage of Bura maan jaaega… seems deliberate and simply to keep in tone with the first film.

With no exceptional music, Pritam has let down all those who highly appreciated the tracks from ‘OUATIM’, especially with a newer rendition of Tayyab Ali (From ‘Amar Akbar Anthony’) and a controversial track, Allah Hoo (edited from the film) he has portrayed complete inability to produce anything new and worthwhile. Except for the background ‘theme’ score, which continues from the first film and is used as effectively in ‘OUATIM Again’ as well.

The film starts off on a note saying ‘Thank you to Ajay Devgn and Emraan Hashmi – for starting the journey’. All through the film I was hoping that the end would have a note saying ‘Sorry to Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi and all you viewers for letting you down’. But then again, not all hopes are always fulfilled in life.

 

Chennai Express – Ready, Steady… Derailed

Everything this festive season, right from the Gosht Saalan, to the succulent kebabs, to the Sheerkorma with infinite amounts of fresh dry fruits, to the pompous festive celebrations and crisp clothing seemed so fresh. However, in these times of celebration and fanfare ‘the most awaited’ ‘entertainer’ of the year seems to have fizzled out with its consistent staleness for three hours.

With advance booking galore and reportedly earning 25 Crore rupees on the very first day, ‘Chennai Express’ needs no reviews for people to go watch the film. Shah Rukh Khan Fans may have never even booked their tickets for an actual train journey in advance, as they have for the film. Even those who don’t have the best of the opinion about him (Or supposedly HATE him as they say and prefer to express their anguish against him as curtly as possible) might have wanted to see the film owing to Rohit Shetty’s history of making some of the most entertaining films in recent times. His action packed comic-capers have garnered him enough recognition to the extent of getting him aboard the ‘100 Crore wagon’.

Without being a snob or bore, I owe a lot to Rohit Shetty for making some of the moments in my life as entertaining as they could get with films like ‘Golmaal’ (The first in the series), ‘All the best’, ‘Singham’, ‘Bol Bachchan’. However, all said and done ‘Chennai Express’ fails to make me laugh or even entertain me beyond a few seconds in each sequence.

Chennai Express is not a film; it’s a three hour advertisement with infinite product placements ranging from ‘Nokia’ to ‘Pepsi’ and the most important ‘Commodity’ of all: Shah Rukh Khan. The film sells him to you in abundance quantity with repeated references to ‘DDLJ’, ‘My Name Is Khan’, ‘Dil Se…’ and many of his past films. This makes me inevitably balance a striking resemblance between Chennai Express and An ‘Epiphyte’ (A plant or an organism who grows and solely survives on the support of other plants and organisms).

With nothing fresh to offer, Chennai Express is the love story of a (Not so obedient) boy, a runaway girl, a cruel and unemotional father and a bad ass villain. Yeah! Yeah! It’s any other film from the 80s and 90s, with contemporary settings.  Most of the elements you expect in a Rohit Shetty film seem to be total let downs. With no puns or dialogues that stay with you, a lot of the comedy used seems repetitive throughout the film. If you’re expecting a garage full of cars flying and smashing in and around town, disrupting the regular lives of citizens you are in for a total bummer. It’s seems Rohit Shetty reached the season’s clearance sale at the garage/Junk yard a little late hence had to come back home with a few (100 odd) cars less.

I am no actor, but I do believe that an actor should be ageless and should be able to mould into his/her character with utmost perfection with no boundaries. However, an actor should play the character physically and keeping the mental maturity stable. In spite of repeated reference and emphatically stating that he is aged 40 in the film, Shah Rukh Khan portrays the maturity of a 20 year old. With excessive hamming and over the top performance he is himself from DDLJ, Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Baadshah or any other film 15-20 years ago. Shah Rukh Khan simply refuses to grow up time and again (To the extent that his name is also ‘Rahul’). All these put offs supersede his fairly good efforts to maintain a decent comic timing in the film.

Rohit Shetty’s incapability to offer something new and fresh to the audience thoroughly irks me and what genuinely angers me in the fact that under the pretext of ‘Entertainment’ ample liberties are taken. The film definitely fails to conform to what it preaches (The most commonly used dialogue throughout the film states that “Do not underestimate the power of a common man!”) The entire film does nothing but underestimates and challenges the thinking capacity and intelligence of the common man in the audience. Throughout the film, I felt a sense of linguistic incompetence on not being able to comprehend 40% of the dialogues, which were in Tamil. After some time I reached a saturation point and switched off.

Chennai Express fails to be funny, but is nevertheless amusing, with (larger than life) idiocy like the 5 feet something Shah Rukh Khan beating up the 7 feet something antagonist who’s built seems nothing less than one of those ugly beasts on WWE. What also amuses me is Deepika padukone’s discovery of an invisible device to help you download and store new clothes and ornaments for every new day, when you are on the run and her discovery to bring back a nearly dead man from his sleep (Shout out his name thrice). It’s better to be oblivious to the music of the film (Say, perhaps the song ‘Titli’ can be an exception) as it fails worse than the film itself. And with a tribute to ‘Superstar’ Rajnikanth at the end (Which was totally out of the place and completely uncalled for, especially to a viewer like me who doesn’t think of Rajnikanth in high regard and for whom Rajnikanth doesn’t go beyond childish text messages) it’s just the pits.

The only highlights and saviours for the film are the song sequences by Rohit Shetty, mounted with sheer grandeur and beautiful locations supplementing the extravaganza of colours. Full marks to Rohit Shetty for portraying an almost unseen side of India and escaping the sunflower fields with ‘Soniya’, ‘Mahiya’ and breaking away from the Punjabization of Bollywood love stories. And last but definitely not the least, Deepika Padukone. India’s favourite party girl has broken the barriers and gone out of her own realms to perform better than anyone in the film and at the same has managed to look utmost beautiful and elegant than ever before. With her almost authentic Tamilian accent she manages to win hearts of not only her fans but other onlookers as well.

So, how many aboard the ‘Chennai Express’?

B.A. Pass

 

When I read ‘The Railway Aunt’ by Mohan Sikka (Which features in ‘Delhi Noir’ – A compilation of short stories throwing light on India’s capital and dark underbelly) I knew there was a potential script hidden in it to be adapted on celluloid. But my mere thoughts were executed and channelized into action by Director Ajay Bahl to make ‘B.A. Pass’ and How!

I have mentioned this many a times earlier and I stand by the fact that I am not a film reviewer, I am just a viewer putting forth my views without the objective of influencing one’s viewing habits. I respect all the film critics writing for the publications and on broadcast media, however with all the reviews coming in for B.A. Pass what is definitely irking me is the fact that all critics are labelling the film under the genre of ‘Drama’. Clarifying this major blunder, I would like to state that B.A. Pass is a pure, out and out ‘Neo-noir film’. Throwing in some technical knowledge, A Neo noir film is a film with updated themes, content, style, visual elements or media that were absent in films noir Viz. particularly those films that emphasize cynical attitudes and sexual motivations.

B.A. Pass is an adaptation in a perfect sense, shouldering the responsibilities of doing justice to the literary work of the author by thoroughly balancing all the intricate details. However, Mohan Sikka’s ‘The railway aunty’ in its gritty, engrossing narrative lacked a depth, thus leaving the reader shallow at the end of story. I was hoping to see this void being filled on screen, but in vain. B.A. Pass is as shallow and doesn’t give the viewer the desirable depth.

A few days ago, I was told that ‘D-day’ (2013) was India’s boldest film made, post ‘Black Friday’ (2005) at which point I did concur to this thought. However, after watching B.A. Pass, I laugh at the fact about how liberal we have been in using the label ‘Bold’ for the films made till date. The erotica and sexual intonations in the film are unmatched to this date in Indian Cinema. Heartiest congratulations to the B.A. Pass team on being able to pass the thorn laden path of the censor board and Applause for the members on the board for the display of such mature action.

The film is very well crafted and aptly manages to convey the emotions thoroughly in each scene. With really no scope for change, the love making scenes throughout the film seem monotonous after a point, yet they try to do away with the monotony using setting factors like the changing colours of lingerie according to a particular position. This may have been one of the few films I’ve seen recently where one person has managed to live up to the role of a director and a DOP (Director of Photography) on the same project for a feature film. Debutant director Ajay Bahl manages to stand out with his choice and decision of releasing India’s premier Neo-Noir erotica on the big screen, but the DOP in him manages to do a finer job with the visual beauty and lighting of Delhi by Night. The use of neon signboards in the darkness of the night was the icing on the cake throughout the film.

The story is multilayered by itself and depicts the story of an orphan in Delhi, who gets trapped in the male prostitution ring of the capital. An unconventional relation between an elder woman and a young boy, the film speaks about ‘too much trust leading to deception’. The dark and disturbing plot is finely supported by great talents such as debutant Shadab Kamal, Dibyendu Bhattacharya (Who was highly appreciated as Chunni from Dev.D) and one of the finest femme fatales in today’s day and age Shilpa Shukla (Who featured in ‘Hazaaron Khwahishein Aisi’ & Who’s role in ‘Chak De India’ as Bindia Naik, was most talked of amongst all the other hockey players) Sad that it took her 6 years to bag a chunky and noticeable role.

With no music to break the pace of the film (Just A song in the final credits, composed By Alokananda Dasgupta) the film shall prove to be a breakthrough in a lot of terms for Indian Cinema and the effect of which might not be measurable today or tomorrow, but surely after a few decades.

Final thought – If you aren’t able to fathom the fact that ‘Life aint no fairy tale’ and look at films as a medium to drift away into a dream world, B.A. Pass isn’t meant for you. Also for those, who might just want to see it for eye candy and the portrayed ‘X’ factor, I think you might be disappointed because there is a lot more to the film than that.

Ship Of Theseus

 

Before I start talking about the film, I find it necessary to mention that I deem myself intellectually, culturally and philosophically incompetent to state my views about ‘Ship Of Theseus’. However, I would like to say a few words (Of mostly praise) for Anand Gandhi’s directorial debut. From the past one year, every seminar, every post-film talk, every lecture has been incomplete without atleast one of the panellists or the speaker on the dias saying “The day ‘Ship of Theseus’ gets a theatrical release, Indian Cinema will have arrived” (Yes, It’s that old and was screened at the MAMI film festival 2012). This got the wheels churning in my mind as to what is all the hype surrounding this film and it’s film maker all about? Then, around 6 months ago I happened to attend another seminar, where mentioning ‘Ship Of Theseus’ was imperative because one of the panellists was Anand Gandhi himself. What I thought of him then, makes me feel ashamed of myself now after looking at his work. And perhaps the only bug in my mind stopping me from wanting to see ‘SOT’ was the fear of the phrase that “A film is a reflection of its film maker”. But I feel lucky that all that has changed, and how! In keeping with the philosophical temperament of the film, It was perhaps my fate or the returns of my good Karma that after 2 weeks of various hurdles, keeping me from viewing it, I was finally able to see the last show on the last day of the film.

On 19^th July Indian Cinema ‘finally’ did arrive, with ‘SOT’ getting a theatrical release. Kudos to Kiran Rao/Aamir Khan and the people at UTV for being able to discover the gem and being able to present it to the world in a magnificent way on the big screen. This studio backed release of an independent film must definitely prove to be a trendsetter, and such films should be made more viable to the audience wanting to see more of them. I believe SOT has set the ball rolling with Dharma Productions presenting Ritesh Batra’s ‘The Lunchbox / Dabba’, which is also co-produced by Anurag Kashyap. If this trend sets in completely I think we can do away with a farce like ‘PVR Director’s Rare’.

Talking about the film, I am firstly happy that it did not let me down in keeping with the overall hype it has garnered for all these months. After a long time, I felt complete after watching a film in the theatre, with every single element in the film – be it the breathtaking visuals or the true to life and soulful performances or the humanist touch to the genuine storytelling, Or just how the name of the film itself has such a deep meaning from which it is derived,  you name it – making me feel so calm and serene. It’s difficult to pin point how an audio visual medium makes you feel so good at the end of 2 and a half hours. With beautiful analogies that explain life, SOT makes you introspect about so much that you might have been oblivious to and considered as a negligible part of your life. Perhaps the only thing I felt as unnecessary in the film was the Interval, but then again the audience needs the popcorn and samosa for every mood. The end of the film literally gave me Goosebumps and it’s a big deal for me that this was the FOURTH TIME in all the years of me wanting to pursue a career in films, that I’ve felt envious of a film maker and felt that “I wish, this film was made by me”. When I say all this, I am also unashamed and unabashed to state that, Yes, I did not comprehend each and every thing in the film and perhaps a few more views will help me do that as well.

I look at Ship Of Theseus as a ray of hope. Hope for all the independent filmmakers with such great work, to find their presenting saint, Hope for the Indian cinema to keep evolving with the pace as it is now and to maintain it, Hope for Anand Gandhi to keep up his good work and shoulder the responsibility he’s been bestowed upon by his first film itself and A final hope that SOT releases on DVD, because It’s a must keep, must BUY (Not downloaded) and must watch.

A final note, If you are oblivious to cinema as ‘Art’ and tag every film that is not mainstream as ‘Film festival material’, you might want to refrain from boarding the Ship Of Theseus and go see a ‘Ramaiya Vastavaiya’ which also released on the same date.